I hire technology leaders for a living, so I do a lot of interviews. There are some attitudes that consistently raise red flags. These are behaviors to be cautious about in professional collaborations of any sort. Watch out for them when vetting vendors, negotiating partnerships, or considering a new job. And most importantly, avoid these behaviors yourself.

Speaking poorly of former colleagues, partners, or customers

This is perhaps the most common and damaging one I encounter. When a candidate casually disparages a previous boss as "incompetent" or a former team as "lazy," it immediately sets off alarms. First, anyone who gossips will gossip about you. If they're willing to breach confidentiality or loyalty with past relationships, what's to stop them from doing the same when they move on from your organization?

Trust is foundational in tech leadership—sharing sensitive strategies, handling team dynamics, or collaborating on high-stakes projects all require discretion. A level of confidentiality is assumed. We need to feel safe to be imperfect. In innovative environments, mistakes happen as part of experimentation. Badmouthing absent parties erodes psychological safety; it signals that errors will be weaponized rather than learned from.

Nobody can see the whole picture. Deference to the unknown is a sign of maturity. Perhaps the former colleague had unseen constraints—resource limitations, personal challenges, or higher-level directives. Mature professionals show humility by withholding judgment, opting instead for curiosity: "I wondered if there might have been factors I wasn't aware of."

Blaming others for failures

Flag number two is blaming. Externalizing failures when addressing a setback lacks nuance and appreciation of complexity. Tech ecosystems are intricate delays often stem from interdependent factors like ambiguous requirements, shifting priorities, or uncontrollable dependencies. Leaders who oversimplify by pointing fingers miss the systemic view needed for effective problem-solving.

Accountability is non-negotiable in leadership. Owning outcomes, even when not directly at fault, demonstrates integrity. Blamers often avoid reflection: "What could I have done differently to mitigate this?" Blame reveals a missed growth opportunity. Those who blame others stagnate, while reflective leaders evolve.

Casting a lost promotion or reduced scope as a betrayal

This last one is a little more obscure, but I still hear it regularly. It emerges when discussing reasons for leaving a role. Candidates will frame being pushed to a smaller team, budget cuts, or shifted responsibilities as personal victimization—"They promised me X and then pulled the rug out."

This kind of attitude reveals entitlement over adaptability. In dynamic tech landscapes, scopes evolve due to market shifts, funding rounds, or pivots. Resilient leaders view these as realities to navigate, not betrayals to resent. Even if it does hurt to be trusted with less responsibility, taking it as an attack reflects poor emotional regulation. Reacting with bitterness suggests difficulty handling ambiguity or disappointment gracefully—qualities essential for leading through uncertainty.

A victim mindset fosters resentment, reducing willingness to invest in the team's success when conditions aren't ideal.

These red flags aren't about perfection—no one has a flawless history. They're about patterns of immaturity: low self-control, ego-driven responses, and combativeness over curiosity. In contrast, professionals who earn trust speak with goodwill, own their part, appreciate complexity, and adapt without grievance.

As you build your network—whether hiring, partnering, or job-seeking—pay attention to these signals. They imply how someone handles conflict, uncertainty, and relationships. And that awareness cuts both ways: self-reflect to avoid exhibiting them yourself. Practice pausing before critiquing absent parties; frame past experiences with ownership and nuance; view changes as opportunities rather than injustices.

In leadership, especially technology, trust compounds success. Spot these flags early, in yourself and others, and steer toward collaborations that build it rather than erode it.

About the Author:

Aaron Davis is a seasoned leader and talent acquisition expert. With a career spanning over two decades, Aaron has built and led successful teams across various industries, including tech staffing, software development, healthcare, & real estate investment. He founded Reliant Search Group in 2019 and still enjoys connecting business leaders with critical talent. Aaron hosts the "Being Built" podcast, where he shares insights on business growth and leadership.